I am at the computer lab at my School for attending Unix lectures that will soon begin. I can see a gloomy and sad atmosphere outside. There is mild rain and the surrounding is covered with cloud. The cold is not as it should be during november. Today, after leaving from work , i got a strange feeling of being at my own coutry because environment was like that of june or july. Weekends are more busy days for me. While I am sitting listening Ozzy, i imagine myself being somewhere in a different world. I feel like going out and shouting like- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. As if every little things that is hidden would come out. Well, the winter fog at Pokhara is same as this. But this fog is making it look very lonely and mysterious. Today a thought covered me whole morning, a fear of not getting what I ever want. I was thinking what if I have to spend all my life with all these small pieces that I have to gather for living . Then, there came a moment when I realized that it is only matter of time that I can get everything I want. It takes a more time to make things right . I was changing the hand towel at my work then the system was little different than the usual so I was trying it so many times then finally came the moment when I made it right. This gave me such a great feeling and I felt like -I AM GONNA DO IT !
– YEAH !
Sometime I think : I would have been able to learn at least 10 different languages if only I had separated one hour for learning a language in a day which seems not very challenging. I would have mastered in learning a programming language or have read at least tens of books only if I had. Now, time come to be a very valuable entity when I am so busy and I have to even think about having ‘chat’ for an hour. I have to do it at the cost of my sleep. Now, I can vividly see how important time is. For all those seconds wasted : I am sorry time. I did not took you seriously. Well , average life expenditure of a Nepalese is 60 years. I have lived 1/3 rd of my life and I have 2/3rd remained. And have I completed the evolution of being a human and have I gone so far in gaining knowledge that is useful to leading a beautiful life. Well, as a human everyone knows how to use fork and knives. Now, the information society is evolving in such a way that only knowing to use knives and forks is not enough. As a human being acquainted with technology is very important.
Time has been such a such a magical aspect of everybody’s life that there is no other greatest ruler in our life than time. Every second and every minute , we are moving. We are in a journey, a very strange journey .
My greatest fear is : not being success. Someday I woke up lying in bed and find myself thinking: what have I done ? What is the gain ? Where is my life heading ? Is this the life I wanted ? And if the answer are mostly not satisfying then what would be the meaning of all these rushes. What will I tell my mother after 4 years when I will be graduated from here with an empty hand. Before such situation come , I am so glad , I woke up.
And so do everybody must. Internet has been a very kaunis(beautiful) platform where you can do virtually anything. You can write a diary, put a photo, chat with a stranger,buy ,visit gallery,watch news,play games, kiss, hug, have sex, sleep, cry, even die here. But have you ever thought : what do you do mostly in Internet ? What ? Just wasting time in most cases. Internet has been a evil friend who on one hand is a friend but an evil if not used in properly.
So know your FRIEND.
गर्मीको घमाइलोले अगष्टका दिनहरुमा नै बिदावारी गरे पनि चिसो बातावरणमा सुर्यले अफ्नो रंग भर्न अजै छोडेको छैन । मौसम चिसिदै जांदा दिनहरु अज उराठ हुदै जाने छन् । क्याम्पस, कोठा, काम अनि गेटटुगेदर जस्ता शव्दहरु निकै नै प्रिय हुने छन् |भोलि बिदा टन्न दारु खानु पर्छ आज राति त भन्ने वाक्यको लोकप्रियता अज बढ्ने छ | हिउँ सायद अर्को हप्ता तिर पर्न थाल्ने छ | मानिसहरुका जाडो ले गर्दा राता भएका अनुहार रेल ,बस अनि ट्राममा छरपस्ट देखिनु नौलु हुने छैन | जाडो मलाई पनि तेत्ती मन पर्दैन | गर्मि को स्वर्गीय संसार बाट बिस्तारै जाडो तर्फ बढ्दै गर्दा जिन्दगी कति छोटो जस्तो लाग्छ | समय पनि कति चाडो चाडो बितेको भन्ने भान हुन्छ | तर जाडोमा घडीको सुइ अलिक ढिलो नै चल्छ जस्तो लाग्छ मलाई |