shocked and surprised // face to face with the devil

After finishing my work at Stockmann on Sunday evening I was in Helsinki Center waiting for bus to take me home. I got out from work so happy that I just can . It was cold and I was eating french fries with that I had bought from McDonald’s.   A man , probably  in his mid fifties, came near to me and asked where we came from in Finnish. Once learning that I don’t speak Finnish so well; he started to ask where I come from and what I do here and so on in English. He spoke good English to my surprise. He started with the thing that I was taking Finnish people’s money and then with me coming from poor country and all the things he could say. I was holding my phone in hand and he said; that Finnish people are paying for the phone I was using.  Oh my God ! Its sad to learn that a mass of people is so unhappy with your presence. Its sad to learn. Tomorrow my vacation is starting ; I don’t feel like making food and watching a nice movie. It just makes me sad and very sad. During my three years stay in Finland ; it had never happened though I had noticed some practices. Now I realize how unfortunate it is to exist as a pupil from a poor nation in one of these developed ones. Are we buying happiness or are we loosing dignity? Now it gets only scary to seat next to people in train or bus; it just makes me suspicious . I must make a move. Oh God ! Find me a way ; I can move away.

not rush //in Finnish capital for 3 years

I wonder with the rush and the way time is slipping. It feels like yesterday that I was in Vantaa Lentokoneasema for the first time in my life to start my new beginnings in Finland but its already 3 years. Now, the city seems so familiar as if I have known it for years. The language sounds familiar though I do not understand it so much. The easiness in moving from place to place and availability of  means of transportation at an affordable cost round the clock makes this city even better to live. Yet another thing I love about Helsinki is population density. After living in Helsinki for 2 years I had been to few other cities in Europe like Amsterdam , Paris and Brussels but one thing I didn’t like about them is the crowd. The trains and bus – All Full with people. In Helsinki a bus is full if everyone has got a sit and there is no one sitting next to them. There are days when I am the only passenger in the bus when I get back from Helsinki to my apartment in Espoo. Being born and raised in a very small village in Nepal, I am not a big fan of crowd. The first time I had landed in Kathmandu- the nepalese capital, I was almost lost with the “crazy-city” and unmanaged urbanization that had led to chaos and I was clearly able to see how the natural resources like rivers and mountain were literally raped by the new resource hungry breed of urban dwellers.  Before I was in Helsinki I had this image of a rush and crowded city- like most capital cities. But Helsinki made me happy in the very first place. Well, Finland’s population density is so low that people who lives in remote areas of the country finds Helsinki too crowded and lacking nature. I laugh inside — go to Kathmandu to see what crowd means. Well, it all depends upon how we are raised and what is the definition of crowd and rush. For me, I grew up in a tiny village with a population of less than 1000 and knowing almost all the people who resided there and closely tied with nature for most of our needs. Well , the rapid urbanization after the civil war is over has made the village almost empty but I consider my first 13 years of my life ; I lived in pure bliss and happiness. Attached below is a -not so good quality- picture of the place.

Bishauna Village

Bishauna VDC

my mid-summer

Sometime its better to be alone than surrounded by bunch of people. Familiar or not. I decided the same for the Mid-Summer eve. After my work at the Department Store Stockmann was over at 1600. I went to Alepa just underground the Train Station and brought few some daily food along with chicken wings and beer. I already had that beautiful image of that night in my mind. It must be a beautiful night. I said to myself while sitting in the train. Some friend of mine who were heading to Nuuksio National Park for camping. Their talks were about how they will spend the night. They talked whether they had enough alcohol and food for two days or not. I was on my own world. I just wanted to get home. Clean my room and eat something light. After that I wanted to for a walk outside. I asked if my apartment mate would like to go outside with me. But he was too mean to ask for a can of beer for going out. I did not liked the idea of giving my beer for him just for going out. I should learn to be alone. So I took a walk alone and came back. The sun was in its horizon. It was a warm evening.I could see groups of people in the park and near the forest drinking and talking. From my window I could see another group in front of the football field. They sat there until the sun was down.

I was already at room by 10 pm. I prepared the meat and rice. I opened up the beer. And started to drink alone. I played the favorite music of mine. I feasted like a king. I was alone but it was a nice summer day. The longest night was passing on. I watched some romantic comedy movies by Adam Sandler via Internet. Later I felt asleep. I did not know at what time I was asleep. On the Mid- Summer day, I woke up at 1500. Took bath and went to sauna. It was such a beautiful time of my life. It was raining. I felt like going on a walk on the rain. I went outside and walk near the forest and for sometime and came back home.