Nepal //heartbreaker

Right after stepping foot at Tribhuwan Internationl Airport in Kathmandu, you get the sense that something can always go wrong. Your luggage might take hours to arrive or the custom officer is so cunning that he/she will do their very best to give you the impression that you are not welcome. Forget the sign, Welcome to the Nepal, you are not. The only international airport in Nepal doesn’t have a good toilet. Anyone can feel disgusted with the the foul smell. The worker who was supposed to put the luggage in the belt was so busy using his cell phone that he made all the passenger wait to get their luggage. The first impression of Nepal for anyone visiting it for the first time will always be very sad and exhausting. As a Nepalese who have lived abroad and traveled, every time I land and fly out of Tribhuwan International Airport I feel sad and think of what could be improved and only thing I can do it imagine.

There will be a long list of complains. And that’s what Nepalese are best at, make a list of complain. At first I was a complain machine. I just complained to myself. Why ? People opening a wrapper of chocolate and throwing it right there. I asked myself why would someone open a wrapper of chocolate and throw it on the ground. This is just an example. There are several factors to why? But the main thing we should ask is why and probably that will lead to a day when people will actually start thinking that the waste they throw will come back to them in one or other way.

Those were all the complains I had. Just the glance. But in reality Nepal is much more than just a big bag of complains. It has a lot to offer and a lot could be done to make this country a better place to live. I have no hope for a drastic revolution. At first when the Maoist came to power, Nepalese thought things will be done differently. Then came the constitutional assembly and the earthquake. Nothing opened our eyes. We have a joker prime minister at office and he is best as a comedian who hasn’t even completed School Leaving Certificate. The whole political system is a joke.

Besides all this Nepal is a beautiful country with a huge potential. What we lack is a good leadership and a better bureaucracy. Nepal has the most corrupt bureaucracy in the whole world. 80% of Nepal’s population is Hindu and these people worship everyday to for a better life in Heaven but sadly when on earth these people engage in corruption. If there would be 100 rupees allocated to make road in Nepal then only 10 rupees will be utilized to actually make the road and the rest of the money goes into someone’s pocket.

Nepal is a sad story. A failure. And its a manpower machine. Nepal sells its manpower to countries like Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Dubai, Malaysia , Europe and USA. Nepal is a sad story for the money that people make in those country is not used for opening new industries or to create more jobs in Nepal. The money is spent to buy lands. The price of land is skyrocketed. And those hard working Nepalese are putting money on land. This time when I was in Nepal, I felt very very sad for my country yet I somehow felt that tremendous love for the land I belong to. I felt sad because we are divided.

Nepal is a very diverse country full of languages and many ethic group living in harmony.

With the new so called political revolution agitated by the Maiost. Its been disturbed. And we are not the same people anymore.

These five years abroad has shaped me in a way. No matter what , Nepal is my root. And despite all the imperfections , I feel like its calling me back. I have seen it all. What makes a man happy? Nothing. This endless search for perfection. This love for more material , more perfection and more. This endless search. And somehow it has occurred to me that knowledge is what is beautiful. It doesn’t matter where I live. If I do a job and engage at work. I will not die because of hunger or it shouldn’t be difficult to live a decent life anywhere. So this realization occurred has made me more happy. Despite all the hindrances and all the not workings and being with all the wrong people. I have somehow developed this cheer for life.

You might wonder what does it have to do with Nepal? It has to do everything with Nepal. Nepal , despite all the not working , it has silently invited me to just get back and work.

It has to do with Nepal because it doesn’t really matter where you live. What matters is where you find your happiness. And everyday I have been dreaming of starting in Nepal.

raja – painter

During the autumn of 2009 when my father hired someone to paint our house, I came to know Raja and his forlorn life. After a week I met him, I had started to think he is a barbican in the Realm of God condition God Exits. He reminds me of someone who has lost meaning of living. He is someone for whom living means to be unconscious with alcohol and marijuana. During the period of he was working for us , I never saw him fresh and he sang strange songs. He once told me that he likes to sing songs from horror movies. His get up included of an old, dirty jeans pant, a long sleeved shirt and slippers. I was thinking how he might have been surviving with those slipper in that cold. He was honest. He never took anything from the store where we kept paint buckets and other stuffs needed. He was a chain smoker and every time I saw him with a cigarette at his left hand while he used to hold the paint brush with other hand. His front teeth were developing tar due to continues smoking and not taking care of them. He was lean and thin with long beard and mustache. He used to cut them very rarely. During his working time of two months with us. He saved only once. And he did not had seperate clothes to wear while working . So the paint daubs were making his shirt colorful. I had never worked with someone who was just living life. It made me really sad. Once he came drinking and spoiled the polish that was freshly put on the marble floor. I shouted him for coming there and spoling. That night I regretted so much for shouting him. Because he face was so innocent and he was only saying one thing- Please do not shout at me. Still I was shouting and nearly hit him with a stick that was at my hand. That was the most cruel face of mine. I also used to work with him to paint because I had recently finished my high school and I was free. Raja meaning king in Nepali made me really sad. I even do not know if he exists now or not. But I think he is already dear to God because he did not know he was living. Once he cut his finger with the edge of the paint box, and he was sucking his finger and asked me to bring a tape . I put it at his hand with and applied dettol but moments later he threw it and he was working while the finger was bleeding as if he has lost the sense of feeling. One day he came with blue eyes and said he broke a fight while drinking. But he was still working and I told him to go home but he said he need to work because he has no money for the coming night to drink alcohol. I am thinking about him today. Such a lonely person. Raja-the painter.